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Summer Fun Part I: Oh So Helpful Emails & FB Messages...

6/21/2018

I want to thank all of you who sent me so many educational e-mails & FB messages over the past year!

Because of your thoughtfulness:

I no longer open a public bathroom door without using gardening gloves as I will get all types of diseases up to and including malaria, or ask restaurant staff to put lemon slices in my drink/ice water, as I am just asking for all kinds of diseases, up to and including malaria, from the peel which the sender insists contains feces-based bacteria (yep...waitstaff go #2 with the lemon slices in their hands...!)...

I will stop shaking hands with someone who has been driving because that email claimed that the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one’s nose...

I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because someone kindly informed me that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet...

I won’t touch another woman’s purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom, which spreads diseases up to and including malaria...

I MUST ALSO SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes I just bought at Office Depot...I keep getting complaints about the staples I use instead...

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die for the 1,387,258th time...

But... no problem...that will change once I participate in any of the following great giveaways for just forwarding the email or clicking on the link provided:

$5,000 from Bill Gates/Microsoft
the free trip for two to Walt Disney World or $5,000 cash from Disney
free computers from IBM, and a free car from Honda, and
all those gift certificates from places like Old Navy, Bath & Body Works, J. Crew, and Cracker Barrel!

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s Novena has granted my every wish...

But, heads-up girl! I better not have a drink in a bar because I’ll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone...

However, thanks to my FB "friends", I can help a sick child just by sharing her picture (the post includes a photograph of a young child in a hospital bed, & claims that every time her picture is shared, she will receive a $1 donation towards her medical expenses)...hope she's all better!

But, I no longer buy gas without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer doesn’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up...

THANKS TO ALL OF YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can’t boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life...

However, I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me... and...

I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda agents in disguise...

THANKS TO YOU I no longer use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt...

AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I no longer garden because I’m afraid I’ll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.

Now, if you don’t get least 144,000 people to read this in the next 30 minutes, you'll instantly look like Cher after her last face-lift, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s best friend . . .

You have been officially alerted....

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Make Travel Easier With These 9 Items

6/7/2018

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Summer vacation time is here again, which for most of us means traveling...somewhere...whether by train, plane or automobile.

And it's my job to make the trip a bit easier for my fellow Boomers (and their loved ones)! So, I found these terrific if not downright nifty items designed to make the trip lighter and brighter!

GPS Wrist Phones (for kids)
Have little ones you’re worried about traveling with (or without) for the first time? Discreet GPS wristbands or watch phones for kids are worth the investment. Some even have calling capabilities, great for kids who aren’t old enough for a phone just yet.
This little gem is both a safety device and fun (it has a few games on it but note they will drain the battery in a few hours), and has pre-built texts and emojis that can be sent to up to ten contacts. It also lets kids send voice messages if they're unable to text.

LINQ Wearable Charging Cable
LINQ is a bracelet and charging cable for iPhones and iPads that allows you to wear your iPhone cord when you don’t have anywhere to stash it, and it comes with a compact portable charging bank. Plus, the woven cable looks to be a lot more durable than Apple’s fast-fraying cables.

BASU Ealarm
Add this tiny alarm to your collection of wearables in case you find yourself walking alone at night in unfamiliar places. It emits a loud noise when you pull a pin, yet it’s small and light enough to fit in with your keys, so you’ll never forget to take it.

ScotteVest
This casual sweatshirt has 21 pockets to help you lighten your baggage load, and will comfortably fit bigger items like an iPad or a water bottle. It’s basically a carry-on bag you can wear. Pictured for men, but they make one for women as well.

Sleep Phones
This is just so cool. SleepPhones look like a soft headband but have wireless speakers inside that will allow you to sleep in any position on the plane. You’ll forget you’re even wearing them; and they can double as an eye mask.

Skyler Travel Pants (for women)
They’re as cozy as your favorite leggings, but they’ve been tailored for a more upscale look. Wrinkles are a non-issue thanks to slimming stretch fabric, and—bonus—they still look freshly washed after a few days of wear. A bit pricey, but will look great & last forever.

KUHL Konfident Air Pants (for men)
They look dressier than they feel, have nine generous pockets, and leave plenty of room in (ahem) critical areas—nice when you’re feeling the cramp in coach. Plus, they’re made of rapid-drying ENDURO fabric with UPF 50 protection, so these comfortable travel clothes are as at home on mountaintops as they are in museums.

Water Bottle/Pill Box
If you travel with daily medication, then this little beauty is for you. With a 23-ounce capacity, the dual pill holder-water bottle keeps your pills handy while you keep well hydrated. Really comes in handy on a plane or long trip.

Microbead Portable Pillow
This weird, brown, flower-shaped pillow is actually a traveler’s best friend. It can be altered into various positions to relieve neck, knee, and back problems. It also comes with a compress and cover for any icing or heating needs.

You have been officially alerted...

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Summer Fun Part I: Oh So Helpful Emails & FB Messages...

I want to thank all of you who sent me so many educational e-mails & FB messages over the past year!

Make Travel Easier With These 9 Items

Summer vacation time is here again, which for most of us means traveling...somewhere...whether by train, plane or automobile.

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