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Summer Fun Part I: Oh So Helpful Emails & FB Messages...

6/21/2018

I want to thank all of you who sent me so many educational e-mails & FB messages over the past year!

Because of your thoughtfulness:

I no longer open a public bathroom door without using gardening gloves as I will get all types of diseases up to and including malaria, or ask restaurant staff to put lemon slices in my drink/ice water, as I am just asking for all kinds of diseases, up to and including malaria, from the peel which the sender insists contains feces-based bacteria (yep...waitstaff go #2 with the lemon slices in their hands...!)...

I will stop shaking hands with someone who has been driving because that email claimed that the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one’s nose...

I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because someone kindly informed me that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet...

I won’t touch another woman’s purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom, which spreads diseases up to and including malaria...

I MUST ALSO SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes I just bought at Office Depot...I keep getting complaints about the staples I use instead...

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die for the 1,387,258th time...

But... no problem...that will change once I participate in any of the following great giveaways for just forwarding the email or clicking on the link provided:

$5,000 from Bill Gates/Microsoft
the free trip for two to Walt Disney World or $5,000 cash from Disney
free computers from IBM, and a free car from Honda, and
all those gift certificates from places like Old Navy, Bath & Body Works, J. Crew, and Cracker Barrel!

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s Novena has granted my every wish...

But, heads-up girl! I better not have a drink in a bar because I’ll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone...

However, thanks to my FB "friends", I can help a sick child just by sharing her picture (the post includes a photograph of a young child in a hospital bed, & claims that every time her picture is shared, she will receive a $1 donation towards her medical expenses)...hope she's all better!

But, I no longer buy gas without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer doesn’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up...

THANKS TO ALL OF YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can’t boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life...

However, I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me... and...

I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda agents in disguise...

THANKS TO YOU I no longer use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt...

AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I no longer garden because I’m afraid I’ll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.

Now, if you don’t get least 144,000 people to read this in the next 30 minutes, you'll instantly look like Cher after her last face-lift, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s best friend . . .

You have been officially alerted....

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Make Travel Easier With These 9 Items

6/7/2018

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Summer vacation time is here again, which for most of us means traveling...somewhere...whether by train, plane or automobile.

And it's my job to make the trip a bit easier for my fellow Boomers (and their loved ones)! So, I found these terrific if not downright nifty items designed to make the trip lighter and brighter!

GPS Wrist Phones (for kids)
Have little ones you’re worried about traveling with (or without) for the first time? Discreet GPS wristbands or watch phones for kids are worth the investment. Some even have calling capabilities, great for kids who aren’t old enough for a phone just yet.
This little gem is both a safety device and fun (it has a few games on it but note they will drain the battery in a few hours), and has pre-built texts and emojis that can be sent to up to ten contacts. It also lets kids send voice messages if they're unable to text.

LINQ Wearable Charging Cable
LINQ is a bracelet and charging cable for iPhones and iPads that allows you to wear your iPhone cord when you don’t have anywhere to stash it, and it comes with a compact portable charging bank. Plus, the woven cable looks to be a lot more durable than Apple’s fast-fraying cables.

BASU Ealarm
Add this tiny alarm to your collection of wearables in case you find yourself walking alone at night in unfamiliar places. It emits a loud noise when you pull a pin, yet it’s small and light enough to fit in with your keys, so you’ll never forget to take it.

ScotteVest
This casual sweatshirt has 21 pockets to help you lighten your baggage load, and will comfortably fit bigger items like an iPad or a water bottle. It’s basically a carry-on bag you can wear. Pictured for men, but they make one for women as well.

Sleep Phones
This is just so cool. SleepPhones look like a soft headband but have wireless speakers inside that will allow you to sleep in any position on the plane. You’ll forget you’re even wearing them; and they can double as an eye mask.

Skyler Travel Pants (for women)
They’re as cozy as your favorite leggings, but they’ve been tailored for a more upscale look. Wrinkles are a non-issue thanks to slimming stretch fabric, and—bonus—they still look freshly washed after a few days of wear. A bit pricey, but will look great & last forever.

KUHL Konfident Air Pants (for men)
They look dressier than they feel, have nine generous pockets, and leave plenty of room in (ahem) critical areas—nice when you’re feeling the cramp in coach. Plus, they’re made of rapid-drying ENDURO fabric with UPF 50 protection, so these comfortable travel clothes are as at home on mountaintops as they are in museums.

Water Bottle/Pill Box
If you travel with daily medication, then this little beauty is for you. With a 23-ounce capacity, the dual pill holder-water bottle keeps your pills handy while you keep well hydrated. Really comes in handy on a plane or long trip.

Microbead Portable Pillow
This weird, brown, flower-shaped pillow is actually a traveler’s best friend. It can be altered into various positions to relieve neck, knee, and back problems. It also comes with a compress and cover for any icing or heating needs.

You have been officially alerted...

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8 Biggest Problems for Long Married Couples

5/24/2018

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After decades of marriage, some couples settle into not-so-constructive patterns. After sharing joy, pain, and raising a family, they gradually realize they're fighting often, rarely have sex, and feel far apart even when in the same room.

Here's the top reasons couples grow apart, and what to do about it from pals of the show Grandparents.com

"Gray divorce:" a concept made popular by researchers in a Bowling Green State University study, which found that since 1990, divorce rates have doubled for Americans over 50 and more than tripled for Americans over 65.

In 2010, people ages 50 and older accounted for about 1 in 4 divorces. Susan L. Brown, one of the lead researchers for the study, told the Washington Post that the reason for these divorces wasn't "severe discord," but rather "the couples had simply grown apart."

The top 8 problems agreed upon by experts:

Communication issues are the most common complaint, followed by (in no particular order);
Frequent fighting
Sexual desire discrepancy, (when one partner wants sex and the other doesn't)
One partner's drinking or drug abuse
A difference of opinion on work-life balance
Financial stress
Weight issues
Arguments related to adult children

What to do about it
The first step to a healthier marriage (and avoiding divorce): Acknowledge you have problems. "There are signs when a marriage is in trouble and you have to get some help," says Sussman, who notes things like fighting more often than having pleasant times; having no or little sex; preferring to spend free time with friends, family, or alone; dreading weekends; and fantasizing about other partners ....or being alone.

Learn the healthy way to fix communication problems:

First, wait until you're calmer, pick a time when things are calm, then open the conversation gently by asking permission. "I have some things I want to tell you—is this a good time?" If your partner says yes, your relationship issue shifts from an emotional outburst (which often provokes a heated response) to something more akin to a business meeting. "In a common fight, the brain is highjacked of its ability to reason and listen, and your partner cannot hear you," she says. Giving your partner the choice to engage in a conversation puts you on even ground.
Second, clearly and calmly state your complaint and your desired alternative. "I don't like it when you do x, and I would like that you do y instead."
Lastly, ask your spouse to repeat it back, which ensures they got your message so you you are talking about the real issue at hand. "It seems simple, but I can't tell you how difficult it is to repeat what your partner said," she says. "There's always distortion and defensiveness about what was said. You don't have to agree or respond to the complaint, you just have to hear it."

Learn one another's love languages:
Identifying the behavior that makes your partner feel loved and connected to you allows both of you to feel more satisfied. If you feel loved when your partner hugs and kisses you, but your partner feels loved when you take out the trash or empty the dishwasher, knowing this consciously then building on it will go far to close that disconnect.

Practice nonsexual touching:

Recent research published by the Society for Personality and Social Psychology suggests that having sex once a week—but not more often—helps you maintain an intimate connection with your partner and correlates with a happier marriage, regardless of gender, age or length of relationship. "Many people get in trouble because they're not having sex," says Dr. Schwarzbaum. "They grow further and further apart, but they can't figure out how to get there."
So, remove the sexual pressure. "I try to get them to separate nonsexual touch from sexual activity," says Schwarzbaum. "I tell them to play with each other's body, and take it very slowly, like have a longer hug than usual, but purposely put a stop to further sexual activity. That way they rekindle intimacy without the threat of the performance."

These simple but powerful approaches will help the two of you break free from behavior that's not working, and to once again enjoy one another. Dr. Schwarzbaum "(tries) to help them talk differently, listen differently," says . "Sometimes they go their separate ways because they can't do any of that, but very often it works beautifully. I get people in their 60s who make enormous changes with how they interact."

You have been officially alerted...

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Simple Truths To Get You Out of Your Rut

5/10/2018

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To celebrate our return to info/funland, I want to spread my happiness to be back by giving you a lift...maybe getting you out of a rut...or just brightening your day.

To do that, I offer these "simple truths" that make life a bit easier, or better, get you unstuck, or just make great sense. Enjoy!

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Doing Caregiving Right

3/15/2018

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I cared for both parents for years prior to their journey to that big golf club in the sky. Daddy had advanced heart disease, Mother had Rheumatoid Arthritis, cancer, and major side effects from her meds - daily nausea and debilitating dizziness.

Daddy was living at home until he died in the hospital at age 90; Mother spent about 6 months in a skilled nursing facility prior to also dying in hospital at age 91.
I learned a whole lot from my experience, from handling stereotyping doctors (old means don't bother) to ensuring quality of care in a facility - and doing it all pretty much alone (2 sibs lived in another state, the other was unable to handle the stressors and unpleasantries of care).

Here's what I learned that I hope will help you when/if your turn comes, whether it's an elder or a non-elder loved-one.

Handling medical professionals/facilities

One of our generational characteristics is that we have no problem taking control of situations; in fact, we get cranky when we lose control, or perceive we’re losing control, of the things that impact our lives. Well, use this characteristic well when it comes to ensuring that the elders in your life are cared for well. Don’t park it at the doctor’s office door, or before entering the facility in which your parents live.

A while back ABC World News Tonight did a piece on a FL woman – a Boomer - whose 86 year old father was being inappropriately given antipsychotic medications for his dementia by the Assisted Living Facility (ALF) in which he was living, even though research clearly shows that not only does antipsychotic medication not work to mitigate dementia in the elderly, it actually does them harm. After being in the facility for only 2 months, and after watching her father quickly descend into despondency to the point of becoming unresponsive, he died. She knew something “wasn’t right” and now in retrospect “wished she had looked into his care further, asking them what medications they were giving him, etc.” But she didn’t. She took a hands-off approach with the facility and the doctors. It cost her father, who she clearly loved dearly, his life. Oh, and by the way, Medicare paid for all those meds, even though they are aware that such treatments are medically unsound… Here's what you must do instead:

First: Be a full partner in care, not a passive consumer

Conduct yourself like a professional healthcare coordinator who is responsible for a precise understanding of all aspects of the patient’s care (starting with a crash course on the diagnosed conditions and their treatments – you can get lots of factual information online) – do not blindly accept information or opinions of medical professionals who see hundreds of patients a week and spend very little time with each of them; And if you’re thinking “I don’t have time to do that” –in fact, you do, because your already spending that time reacting to crises created by the ineffectual care being given to your loved one – proactively staying ahead of the curve is a much better use of that time…

Second: Hold your healthcare professionals accountable for quality care

Do not accept non-answers, condescension, vague answers, answers in medical jargon, or the attempt made by so many doctors to treat your questions as silly or unnecessary – you would not accept this of any other service provider, and a doctor is no different.

Third: Seek second or even third opinions

In fact, seek out the leaders in the specialty associated with your loved one’s diagnosed condition, wherever those health professionals are – do not limit yourself to your geographical area or even your State. The doctor who saved my father’s life numerous times, when all the doctors here in Tampa had sent him home to die, is located in NYC. Also remember, this is a business, so do not accept guilt trips, hurt feelings, or any other unprofessional reaction on the part of your doctor – if that happens, find another doctor.

As for facilities, here in FL, oversight of Nursing Homes and Assisted Living Facilities is lax at best, a bad joke at worst. Even if it’s better in your State, don’t rely on others, whether government entities or facility/medical staff, to “do the right thing” by your elder, or yourself. That’s up to you…and you alone.

Handling yourself with you elder loved one

When you're dealing with an aging parent or loved one needing full-time care, it's easy to get wrapped up in feeling like you're parenting a huge child. This attitude can lead to resentment from both parties. It's extremely important to remember that you are providing care to an aging adult you love, not a lost child but a person with hopes, dreams, desires and decades more time walking the planet than you have.

Be clear, not condescending.
You can't imagine what it's like to lose your cognitive abilities, but you can probably pull up a memory of anger related to being treated like a fool. Choose your words, your demands and your tone with care -- and love -- when communicating with your aging loved one.
Be supportive, not judgmental. Losing control of dexterity, losing the ability to bathe, dress and feed yourself, losing the ability to make it to the bathroom in time -- all of these things can lead your loved one to despair.
Be kind, and try to understand what your parent or loved one is going through when s/he has an accident.
Be firm, not dictatorial.
There are decisions you'll need to make for your parent or loved one's well being. Stop there. Putting unnecessary rules and regulations on your aging loved one's behavior will only sow seeds of resentment. Give her/him as much independence as possible, whenever possible. You'll both appreciate it.

Remember, too, that your loved one probably doesn't know what you're going through, either. Keep lines of communication open. Talk about getting in-home help or what you and they wish to do when you can no longer provide the necessary care. Talk about moving you parent or loved into a nursing home years before it's necessary if at all possible. Just talk, and stay respectful.

You have been officially alerted...

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Summer Fun Part I: Oh So Helpful Emails & FB Messages...

I want to thank all of you who sent me so many educational e-mails & FB messages over the past year!

Make Travel Easier With These 9 Items

Summer vacation time is here again, which for most of us means traveling...somewhere...whether by train, plane or automobile.

8 Biggest Problems for Long Married Couples

After decades of marriage, some couples settle into not-so-constructive patterns. After sharing joy, pain, and raising a family, they gradually realize they're fighting often, rarely have sex, and feel far apart even when in the same room.

Simple Truths To Get You Out of Your Rut

To celebrate our return to info/funland, I want to spread my happiness to be back by giving you a lift...maybe getting you out of a rut...or just brightening your day.

Doing Caregiving Right

I cared for both parents for years prior to their journey to that big golf club in the sky. Daddy had advanced heart disease, Mother had Rheumatoid Arthritis, cancer, and major side effects from her meds - daily nausea and debilitating dizziness.

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